Do you know what the best part of Christmas this year was? The family photo. This year while my cousins were putting on their jackets to leave on x-mas eve, someone yelled out “wait-we did not take a family picture.” So the jackets came off and my entire family gathered by the fireplace. My mother took a few shots and then she ran into the picture and my uncle took a few. We yelled “Merry Christmas” as the camera flash went off. We were laughing and smiling. A photo to capture the joy of family. And I was a part of it – fully.
During the Christmas of 2009 there was no family photo. Actually, I found only one picture of me on Christmas Day at my aunt’s house. The picture was blurry. My face was pale and gaunt. I was in the background. It was not a posed shot. This was the time when I was struggling with anorexia. That Christmas Eve I ate string beans for dinner and an apple on x-mas day. I was not present. I felt no joy.
Recovery gives you your life back. I saw a quote the other day- “Yes, your eating disorder world is comfortable, but it is SO small.” So on this first day of January 2018, ask yourself—do you want your life back? If the answer is yes, then please reach out for support. Call the NEDA eating disorders helpline at 800-931-2237. Ask a family member or friend for help. Call a local therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders. Check out intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization or residential treatment facilities. Check out resources on this blog. Get in the picture this year.
We can recover one day at a time.