Destroy your disortions

Last weekend I attended the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) walk in Hamilton, New Jersey. I’m slightly embarrassed to say that it was my first walk. I have donated before, but never actually showed up to walk. Pressing a few buttons behind a computer screen I can do; tackling my social anxiety and fears about large events, while struggling with anorexia- hell no! No thank you!

Deep down I had this distorted idea that I needed to be fully recovered to walk. I needed to be at some precise place in my recovery. In my head I always thought “one day I will get involved,” but it was never exactly the right time. It is like that dress that sits in your closet with the tags still on it waiting to be worn to that perfect event. In recovery we realize that perfection does not exist. If we put things off until we “think” we are ready that our lives just go by.

Part of me thought that I would jinx my progress or get triggered by other participants. I thought that I would bail last minute because my anorexia would take over. When we have thoughts ruminating in our mind we actually start to believe them. The thoughts start to dominate how we live our life. These thoughts kept me away.

The walk was amazing! I felt part of the fight to bring more awareness about eating disorders. I identified with other survivors, mental health professionals and loved ones. I heard stories of recovery from brave women. I learned about the increased number of males who suffer from eating disorders. I was reignited with passion to help others personally and professionally.

This was the first walk I attended, but it won’t be my last. I just wish it was a lot sooner.

Are any distorted thoughts keeping you from your best life?

Serenity Always,

Meredith

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